Відео

I grew up assuming everyone was "faking it," in that they all disliked socializing, working, etc but it was a cultural norm everyone had to participate in. So, I became numb to discomfort or pain. Traumatic events just added to this belief and I just endured more. When it would become too much, I'd complain or ask for help. During such times I'd be told I'm being dramatic or weak. So, I stopped complaining. It's been a mixed bag of existence until I finally had a burnout big enough to get my attention. Two years later and I'm finally starting to feel more like myself again To say I'm skittish about joining the workforce again would be a an understatement.

Or maybe the viewer is thinking, "Should I tell my friend that I'm autistic?" and thinks it would be easier if the friend were autistic, too.

I had a diagnosis as a child (in the 90s) but didn't know about it until 4 or 5 years ago, due to your #3 reason. So, yep. Accurate.

Thank you so much, Quinn, and congratulations on your 1 million views! Thank you for helping me understand myself better. 🤩❤️

Autistic people experience life the same as any regular person. But dialed to 11.

I don't remember why I started thinking I might be autistic, but when I thought it applied to me it wasn't scary. It was liberating. For once, I thought there might be an explanation for why I lived my whole life at right angles to humanity. Suddenly everything made sense. Or at least I understood why nothing made sense. Close enough. I'm not comfortable with the idea of "self-diagnosis". We don't have the education to do a really good job of impartially make an objective assessment. But we do know what we're feeling. Self recognition can help us find an answer with a fairly high level of confidence. I don't know if I'm autistic, but there's a high probability that I am. At 64, behavioral patterns learned to integrate with the normal world have become too ingrained to be unwound and pierced through by an outsider. I'll probably never have a formal diagnosis. But when I raise the possibility with people who have known me for ages, the response is, "Yeah, that would explain a lot." Or, "No, I know a guy who's autistic, and you're not exactly like him."

Oh my gosh I love the Rainbow references!! Great explanation too. Thanks!

You make it sound so easy sorry I tried this so many times in a failed to presented for even trying and resented for trying

Only way I ever understood "high functioning" is "not crippled with mental disability/really low IQ". As in, it's the opposite of "real autism", which is the historically studied and depicted "weird dumb-dumb". As I formulate it myself to people: "it's autism without profond mental disability, autism with average IQ". More often than not, they at least get that it doesn't mean you have no challenges as an autistic person. But as I learned from another autistic youtuber that, allegedly, 30% of autistic people have also a mental disability... I can't help but wonder why we call the actual autisitc norm (~70%) "high functioning" anymore.

You said there'll be time when children are going to be thought about neurodiversity in primary schools. I certainly hope so, as in my opinion it would work miracles. I thought for a long time, that neurotypicals 'aquire' their prejudice, seemingly out of the the blue, during their adolescent years. But it is more like during their adolescence they start paying more attenton to others, since it is the time, when primates begin to look for potential partners, and so they notice us, the different. if they were already informed about neurodiversity, because they were thought about it in primary school, that aquisition might not happen, as prejudice arises when there is fear of unknown. Have you ever noticed how trusting children are? They do not recognise otherness yet, and so do not see us as alien. I used to be nanny during my adolescence years, and observed it countless times. Then they change when they grow up into prejudiced neurotypicals, unless you have familiarised them already with otherness, showing them it is no threat to them.

How and when did you get diagnosed?

I thought for sure after Trevor saying "friends don't rat on each other" he'd go and tell the other boys Lenny tried to hit on him or something mean like that. I'm so glad it didn't turn out that way at all. I guess that was just my experience with people. I never know when people are being genuinely nice or when they're trying to trap me...but i guess that was just my family. I'm glad that's not everyone's experience ❤

“Rapid fire associations”

I used to enjoy comoliments. Eventually Inrealix Zed the only time anyone does that is when its a narcissist love bombing me. Now, I get super uncomfortable with more than a kind word or two.

Interesting video. I’m in my late fifties and always knew I was different since I was 5 years old. I took everything literally and as I got older my mother told me about quirks: toe walking, touching my fingers near my face, would only play with one toy at a time, would feel fabrics when she took me shopping, chronic constipation, wanted to use both hands to do things, didn’t like other kids, always wanted to help, and started talking when I was 3 1/2. I just thought I was weird and glad I still didn’t do that. My mother told me she kept me from doing those things, made me use my right hand, and had me do things that other people didn’t see. I had a recurrence of quirky things in 8th grade and was tested. My mother met at the school then told me it was nothing and that I needed to behave and act like other kids. I got a letter about two months later from Mensa and I was congratulated that I was accepted with a 145 IQ. My mother dismissed it and that I couldn’t join. I asked my mother about it later and she acted like it never happened. I grew up being odd, didn’t drive a car until I was 21, and lived with my mother until I was 33. I left finding out that I was perfectly capable of living alone. I’ve worked many jobs and did well, but never liked most coworkers. I was detailed, technical oriented, understood older and current technology, and had a talent for project management. I explained many times that I didn’t butt heads, but bumped brains. Until about 10 years ago it had never occurred to me that I was autistic. I completed many self assessments (most are bogus) and conferred with a psychotherapist who told me that I was a highly intelligent, high functioning, well masked, autistic person, but needed no therapy for that but recommended therapy to reconcile childhood and young adult concerns. He also recommended that I don’t tell other people I’m autistic as most do not understand. I asked if there were jobs where I could work with people more and completed another assessment: top job picks, IRS Agent, Insurance Agent, or Mortician. I got my license (insurance 😏) and did well. I did experience burnout and had to take a break. Now, I’m exploring my artistic side and am learning to play the guitar and painting. We’re all different and I think I would not like the autistic label following me around. I no longer have a psychotherapist, and switched to a psychiatrist where we meet over the phone (no video). Videos and forums like this are a great way to be part of a community, and we don’t have to meet face to face or chat about the weather. “Oh, you’re fine, today? That’s nice. I’m coarse.” 😅 Some scripted responses I use often, “I just want to tell you that you have no idea what that means to me.” “If I could only imagine how you feel or what you are going through.” “Of course I have feelings, emotional outbursts especially when I watch E.T.” (Entertainment Tonight 😮)

Thank you for this. I’m 51 and have always struggled with relationships, communication and emotional dysfunction/regulation, including the occasional meltdown. The autistic element has, for me, been overshadowed by family related problems that caused anxiety and depression to need lots of firefighting, but after lots of therapy and self work the layers of the onion are now maybe exposed enough to get to the root cause. Interestingly it’s because I am currently back in the education system (doing a PhD) that I’ve been able to access support to explore this and today someone finally said “you show lots of autistic traits, shall we see about getting you assessed?”. Let’s see what comes of it. Thanks again

LOL people who use that hashtag are attention seekers who want to feel special and they're more than likely "self-diagnosed" or just flat out lying.

Solidarity is a big feeling. I needed to feel I wasnt alone in the world, my official Dx came as a relief. With that Dx, I realized I was not broken, I was not a failure or lazy or spoiled, I was different and needed different things than the majority. I wont ignore others self-dx because of how hard it is to get anything "certified" by a doctor. Self-DX should be valid, but polices arent happy about it. I hate most policies, can be so very inefficient for our needs.

Certainly you are doing marvellous work I'm really enjoying. Thank you, very interesting person!

I was actually (initially) identified by the youtube algorithm in 2022 (today, I'm 45yo). I assume, I've been watching too many Paul Third videos (a creator, who makes videos about audio-engineering and related topics) .. he also has a channel, where he speaks about autism and he mentioned his autism on his audio-engineering-channel a few times, in the past. So, after watching one or more of his videos, a TED- oder TEDx-talk kept popping up in the related videos feed .. and I kept not clicking it .. at first. The title was "Invisible diversity - A story of undiagnosed autism". But, since it kept coming up and Paul Third had mentioned his autism in one of his audio-engineering videos, I wondered: What is autism?!? How does the world look, to him?!? I thought, being autistic meant being "irrational" in some way, because I had no clue, at the time and had only heard people use the term in a context, that was making it seem, this was what autism was all about. But, I liked Paul's videos and his way of going about things .. he seemed rather rational and logical and trying to look at things from a scienc-y perspective. So, I kinda got interested to actually know, what autism was all about and finally watched that video. The longer she spoke and kept describing what it was, the more I realized, that she was describing a lot of things, we had in common. So, I started wondering, what's the difference between what she says and myself?!? And when she said with this slightly lower tone of voice: "I live in constant noise", I just burst into tears, because I couldn't believe to have found, that there was actually a name for that thing, I was wondering about for all my life. The thing, that made me feel different from everyone else .. misunderstood .. alone even if I stood in the midst of 1000 people. After I had gathered myself, I started taking the deep-dive .. I took every online-test, I could find (RAADS-R, AQ and a few no-name ones) .. all positive .. I started freaking out about this, because how could it be this obvious and nobody had ever told me?!? But, then, I realized, there were people, who tried to tell me .. and they all told me to "google autism, whenever I find the time" or something like that .. But, I got ADD (official dx), too, so I never got around to actually doing it and eventually forgot about it .. but at that day, I remembered one of those incidents .. and then another .. and I started wondering, how often I had missed the opportunity to realize the truth during my lifetime, already?!? I've been on a proverbial rollercoaster-ride for me, ever since. I've listened to lots of podcasts (e.g. I listened to all the episodes of The Squarepeg Podcast to name the probably most well-known one), lots of videos on youtube .. this channel's videos were among them and still are, to this day. Thanks for your effort, by the way .. I've learned a lot from you, too :) These days, I've come to terms, that in my country, I won't ever get officially diagnosed, because the doctors are stuck in the old ways. I've not even met a single doctor, to this day (2.5 years after self-identifying for the first time), who knew what the "double empathy problem" was. Not a single one!!! And I've tried a few, before realizing, it was pointless to even try getting diagnosed, here. I've masked all my life, so I guess it's hard to see from the outside, but on the inside, I know my own truth, now. And that's, what truly counts :)

Bravo sir!!

Is it probable that a high-masking autistic person lies because he or she is trying to act neurotypical? Or is honesty a non-negotiable autistic trait even for high-masking people?

Truth measures a statement’s conformity to objective reality while honesty measures its conformity to the speaker’s beliefs. Before equating the two - ask yourself what if you say something that you believe is true but in fact is not? Then the statement is honest, but not true (i.e. false). Inversely, if you say something that is indeed true but you believe isn’t - then your statement is dishonest (i.e. a lie) but not false. Remember that truth measures a statement’s conformity to reality - while honesty measures the statement’s conformity to the speaker’s beliefs. These are two separate things.

Hi Sir. It is for sure a very interesting video in Many ways. Speaking about you, about your struggles and speaking about WHO you really are and WE really are like this. I appreciate your ability to share this everything of thoughts about your way of proceeding upstairs, it must have take you a while and a lot of faillures i guess. I Fully understand WHO you are and i would like to encourage you to Stay so, nobody shiuld need to change for others people appreciations.

Well, I was surprised at how much of this was basically physical problems. Are Auties generally a sick lot?

So that's alexithymia! I've had "friends" in the past that didn't like how I wouldn't react the way they thought I should, and would try to get me to react (then I did resist, I guess made relatively easy by alexithymia). I've been thinking about whether or not I can describe the way I am feeling, and I think I have gotten decent at being able to (at least in writing). But I've considered how that must be for people that cannot, and I started remembering when I was younger how I would get unnamable feelings in me that was more than just "alright." I didn't have words for the joy and exuberance or melancholia and angst. Sometimes I would hear or read someone's words and I would be like "Yes! That's it!" I am not very well read, but I've read enough that I kind of absorbed others' verbal expressions to be able to synthesize my own expressions by writing. Now I'm starting to think it is what has led to my wanting and needing to write. So, I'm sure that I still have alexithymia. But it expresses more in the form of slow processing. Or, at least I think so.

Female, born in 1954, when girls couldn't possibly be autistic. According to conversations with my mother decades ago I was a "difficult child" who "got many wooden spoons broken across my backside" until i was around 3 then things seemed to settle down (mask development begins). One important factor is that my mother was also a Covert Communal Narcissist that would put me into dangerous situations just to be seen as a good mother when she "stopped" the abuse/trauma inducing situations i was in. Again things seemed to settle down after my 12th birthday (Over time the masks became so complex that they morphed in to the Alters of Dissociative Identity Disorder). The alters continued to become more complex and so the vast majority of the autistic behaviors were hidden until after the trauma of a Breast cancer diagnosis, surgery and treatments, and i just didn't have the energy to keep the masks and the alters hidden. It was in this period i was asked if there was any autism in the family, and gave me access to several Evaluation Tools that when completed LAST year showed an over all 93% likelihood of being autistic.

I’ve been saying this for years. Like your example. Teachers gaslight too.

Thanks Quinn. 🙏

I'm 53 and self diagnosed (or identified) after numerous questionnaires, videos, reading and the opinions of two professionals, one of them unprompted. I could be wrong but I've abandoned getting a diagnosis to find out because I don't know what I'd do if the answer was no.

My grandma "didn't believe in that stuff" but even she knew something was off with me and it wasn't wilfull. I was diagnosed with adhd at age 15 and diagnosed as autistic at age 38. I'm 45 now and it's been really helpful for me to give myself more grace and pay attention to my sensory needs.

Quinn, you are doing amazing work, and you are so greatly appreciated!

Thank you for this 🙏

Often I need to simply take a short 30-45 min nap to relieve that feeling of overwhelming tiredness I experience in the afternoon. Sometimes I even need to take a nap like 3-4 hours after I awake in the morning but it is what it is. I have to logically remember that setting aside time for a short nap is better than trying to persevere without rest and my attitude and mood decline throughout the day till I crash.

One franchise you didn't talk about at all that me and a lot of people I know are crazy about is Ready Player One

@10:47 how close to home these words are. "I got in trouble at school for being clever, and at work for being honest." Same boat my man, same boat...

Thanks Quinn. It was a missing bit. Tell me if it makes sense to you: shayboski.blogspot.com/2024/08/a-goal-versus-motivation.html

People usually don't consider all the things they take as given, in light of average people who contribute to their convenience all the time.

I feel the lack of social hierarchy is a great advantage. It makes me see people for who they are, and not their title. I find it so odd that this isn't the ideal state of perception.

I was born in 1975. I realized I'm autistic after both my kids were diagnosed. I also realized that my father (who was dead by then) was autistic. The thing is, he was never perceived by his environment as divergent. He was known to be a bit of a "type", an "odd character", but well within the normal range. And I've been wondering whether the medical identification of autism did us, autistic people, a service or a disservice.

I'm always intrigued by the different experiences with their bodies other autistic people have. I, too, don't quite qualify for a formal Dyspraxia diagnosis, but it often doesn't feel that way. I drop things a LOT. Fortunately, I had a dog through my thirties and early forties who was smart, agile, and fast, who trained my reflexes. Now I often catch those things I've dropped before it's too late. I can play piano and guitar; but I'll never be very good at either, despite many years of experience, because I simply don't have the fine digital dexterity to get there. I've been playing guitar for 45 years and still can't manage a bar chord. Or a basketball layup, for that matter. I also have trouble synching movements I have to think about with singing, so it took a long time for me to learn to just strum the minimum number of chords, and that it wouldn't be smooth playing until I knew the lyrics backward and forward-which also takes me a long time. Some friends got me into drama in high school, but mostly due to me, the Diary of Ann Frank sometimes came off as a comedy. I mean, it wasn't my fault the cake was left on the table for several scenes, but it was my fault when I started performing a completely different scene at the table. Then I thought I could be Theseus in A Midsummer Night's Dream-I really wanted to-but I couldn't learn the lines and act at the same time. To remember my lines, I needed to be able to visualize the text-which I could do, but it put my mind in the wrong space to simultaneously pull off acting. So the stress of it turned into a block preventing me from getting any better at it at all. Visual memory is my strength, while audio is my weakness. I also don't really think in language but in sensory "images" and concepts. My visual memories don't really change with time until I try to process them through another part of my brain, such as trying to describe a mental picture in language. I don't have a photographic memory for details, but with some effort I can look at an image for longer to devote more memory to it. As such, I used to invoke my visual memory of spelling/vocabulary assignments to scope with the in-class tests; and often my definitions and sample sentences were exactly the same as my homework version of the full list. That's why I THOUGHT I could be an actore, but it turned out I couldn't conjure the script images and act at the same time. Sadly, I didn't discover the technique early enough in life for all the recitation tests, such as the "I have a dream" speech or the preamble to the US Constitution (and despite Schoolhouse Rock). I seldom get lost, though, because I can spend hours looking (and replicating) maps-nowadays more often satellite images. I figured that was only my obsession with maps-collecting, staring at them, drawing from memory or imagination, inadvertently developing pretty strong urban planning skills by trial and error and logic. Many a night I have gotten lost in Google Earth only to discover it was 3 or 4am. Lately, I have been trying to use navigation apps on my iPhone and car dashboard. But they drive me nuts. I misunderstand direction, tune parts of it out (I'm AuDHD). I'm trying different voices, which seems to help some. It messes with my direction sense, though, which usually is awesome. My first day out, I got confused in nearby city several times-a city I knew pretty well. Now that I've been using them for six weeks, I'm back to perusing maps AHEAD of time, so they don't confuse me quite so easily; AND, I hardly ever use the PoV rotation feature. I'm also a VERY HSP (highly sensitive person), oddly enough, made more so after recovering from intensive chemo therapy a dozen years ago. Long before I'd heard the term, I made fun of myself as the Princess and the Pea, or a member of the House of Usher. It also has proven to be why I don't like foods and objects (chemically coated, usually) that have turned out to be harmful: I'm the canary in the coalmine, getting rashes for touching bare skin to the carpet, GI getting out of whack for eating nearly any processed food manufactured in the USA. Of course, that also turned out to be an allium sensitivity (garlic, onions, chives, leeks, etc). So many, many quirks that all turn out to be most common among autistic or HSP persons. Even so, I wasn't self-diagnosed until about age 52, and formally diagnosed earlier this year at age 55. Bipolar Disorder II, ADHD, HSP, CPTSD for being raised by narcissist mother and grandmother ALL failed to describe my total existence. SO much therapy. Autism finished the puzzle. Now everything that's ever been unusual or difficult in my life makes sense in context.

I"m an amateur musician. I play in orchestras. If i play really well people say I am a show off! Its a whole can of worms. I dont have the "social capital" to get people to ask me to play in things so i dont get much opportunity. So i practice more than anybody else and play better than most. So i get told im a show off.

My journey to a formal diagnosis what's the hell misdiagnosed as a child sacked by the government for a misdiagnosis married two kids 5 years later wife said to me I think you're all tasty I thought all my problems would be solved I was so wrong I am now 50 and my wife is still hell as are diagnosed aspie

i've got a bunch of narcissists in the family. or at least i had. not being able to fit in due to developmental issues made me a target, a scapegoat, not someone to be cared about. any of my behaviors that did not fit the script were seen as on purpose egotitsical bad behavior and punished as such. everybody is fake, so they treat me and my communication efforts as fake. and since everybody's behavior was off anyway, seen from the outside i didn't really stand out from the rest of the family, nobody noticed autism in me (like for example teachers), especially when as in my case ASD is muddled together with dysthymia, sleep issues, CPTSD, etc. i was gaslit and emotionally blackmailed into not having any problems so as to keep me from being able to demand help for any problems i might face... "Why Did NOBODY Notice YOU'RE Autistic Before?" - short form: i grew up surrounded by very neglectful, entitled, sometimes malignant, self-absorbed, magical thinking, impulsive, emotionally underdeveloped adults at odds with reality and accountabilty

I prefer high support vs low support

Then you don't have autism, you mainly have digestive system issues. Simple. Other traits you mention aren't abnormal and are simple differences between people regardless of neurotype (Silly examples like getting sleepy after alcohol doesn't imply autism). Alexithemia - also silly because there is no social expectation on men to express or explain their emotions. Only if you were a woman then this would be an issue. Visual memory or lack of is a simple human difference and doesn't determine whether someone is or isn't on the spectrum. You have 'EXPOSED' a lot in this video. The fraud of many who claim the autism label - selfish and unfair to those of us who actually are on the spectrum & are trying to meet others who are. But neurotypicals it seems can't allow us to have that space to ourselves.

Im 39 female just diagnosed this year with autism and adhd. I have two boys who unlike me we got diagnosed early. My husbands family saw it immediately in the boys and myself but my family never saw. I was born in 1985

Thanks for the photosensitivity warning, it almost made me cry

All of this resonates so strongly. Ooph that "didn't realise you're being bullied until you're at the bottom of the food chain" bit though. Every damn time. I either somehow convince myself I'm helping them rather than them taking advantage, or I don't even realise it's happening because I simply can't relate to it. I have no idea how anyone COULD deliberately treat someone badly for fun. Because I can't comprehend it, I simply don't realise it's happening... And then when I FINALLY realise and say "enough" THEY get angry at me for "suddenly being a bitch". It sucks, and it causes a uniquely painful kind of dissonance.